


Quiet Discoveries

by Darkhymns



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Affection, Angel Wings, F/M, Friendship/Love, Touching, Wing Touch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 04:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20576522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkhymns/pseuds/Darkhymns
Summary: When Colette gets her wings, there's a few things Lloyd already likes about them: the way they cast moving colors across the ground, how they fluttered with her as she laughed, the sparkles dancing across her hair...How they felt against his hand, Colette staying very close to him.





	Quiet Discoveries

**Author's Note:**

> I've been waffling between rating this either G or T. But wings are too fun... and fun means higher ratings so there you go.

Lloyd only remembered the shape of her wings, like fragments of water-colored glass, before Colette suddenly fell to the desert floor.

“H-Hey!” he was already stuttering, rushing to Colette while the rest stood in shock. Genis had guilt written all over his face, Raine’s with concern, while Kratos had no discernable expression at all like always, still standing near the stairs to the Triet Ruins’ entrance.

“Give her room.” The professor kept her voice steady as she trudged through the sand. By then, Lloyd had already rushed across it, barely making footprints in his dash. He hadn’t caught up to Colette before she fell, but had his arms around her as she tried to remain steady on her knees.

In the desert heat, her wings stayed out, motes of light falling from them to land against the back of his hand. “Colette? What happened? Are you okay?”

His hand brushed against her left wing. Their iridescent nature let him go through it easily. The sensation was like slipping his hand under refreshing water, chilling his skin, even though it sparked at his nerves so strangely.

Colette shivered, uttering a surprised gasp. She blinked up at him in confusion.

As if he had just been caught doing… something, Lloyd pulled back his hand. “I… uh..”

Someone grabbed at his arm roughly, pulling him to his feet. “Do not crowd her.”

“Huh? Kratos?” The mercenary was holding onto his arm like a vice. Lloyd couldn’t even move away if he wanted to. His mind tried to make sense as to how Kratos had gone all the way from the entrance to where Lloyd was without him noticing… and so fast, too! “W-Wait, I was just-”

“I wouldn’t push this if I were you,” Kratos said, his tone sharp.

Lloyd was so surprised, his hand still enveloped in the memory of Colette’s wings, that he couldn’t even summon the urge to be angry.

As he was pushed off to the side while Raine and Kratos discussed what was to be done, Colette remained between them, eventually standing up with the help of the mercenary. Her wings had by then dissipated, Genis running to her to apologize for making her use them so much.

“No, it’s okay, Genis, I was just…” And then a flick of her eyes towards Lloyd. That same confusion, the same sudden guilt he felt.

Then she turned away, leaving him bereft and lost.

Lloyd wasn’t sure what exactly had just happened, but remembering the sight of her wings at the seal, the way they rushed from her back in a span of light, like the last traces of sunlight before the night sky took over – he wanted to understand.

His hand ached a little too, but it didn’t hurt.

Still, he felt something.

* * *

It was after dinner that night, the campfire crackling in the chill air, the sands coated blue from the skies, that Lloyd approached Colette. She wasn’t as pale anymore, the suggestion to rest here having helped her recover.

“Hey, Colette. Have you been feeling better?”

She had just gotten up from her seat, brushing the stray sand from her dress. She turned to him with a smile. “Lloyd… I’m okay now! Sorry for worrying you so much.”

“Come on, you don’t need to be sorry…” he admonished. The light from the campfire cast shadows all around them. Off to the side, he could see the shape of the Professor as she settled her complaining little brother into some blankets, as well as Kratos on the far side of the camp, Noishe laying near him, (which was weird, but he’d question that later). “Are you sleeping already? You barely ate anything.”

“Hm, I just… didn’t have much of an appetite. And I wanted to go for a walk first, I think,” she said, hands clasped together. She looked towards the ground, hesitant suddenly.

Did she want to be left alone? Clenching his hand slightly, he was already asking, “Want me to come with?”

For a moment, he thought she would say no. He saw the shape of the word form on her lips, but then she looked at him again, a strand of her hair falling across her face.

“Yeah,” she said simply, giving him a smile before walking off towards the oasis. “If you can catch up!”

Lloyd grinned as he rushed to her side, ignoring any of the eyes that trailed after them. It didn’t matter. Both him and Colette had always gone off by themselves back in Iselia, ready to talk about whatever silly subject that went through their heads.

As the water lapped against the shore, he noted that Colette was quiet, that she kept looking away from him before stopping at the edge of the oasis. Her voice fell from her lips suddenly with, “Did you feel it too?”

“Wha?” he said dumbly, again feeling guilty. But, why guilty? He looked back at his hand. He had even touched her wing through the glove and still felt something.

“Um, with my wings? I don’t… know much about them. I’m sorry.” Colette looked back to the water, one hand clasping her wrist, the wind tugging at her hair.

“Why are you apologizing?” He clenched his hand again. The feeling stayed. “I mean, I was the one that, uh…” It was hard to say. His hand had gone through her wings, and it had been instantly relieving, and the way he thought he heard a sound from her as he… Oh no, he was being weird now. “I didn’t mean to do that earlier. Sorry about that.”

Colette giggled then, nervously, but it wasn’t one to make him feel better that he could tell. She looked at him again, fiddling with her hands. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was bad! I just... wanted to know if you felt it.” She grew quiet again, eyes lowered, the air around them quiet.

He couldn’t help but ask, “What did you feel then?”

Colette took a moment, her gaze so shy, shyer than it usually was, at least with him. “Like… it reminded me of when you would hold my hand, just… more?” She shook her head. “I don’t know how to explain it. The scriptures mentioned wings, but not about this. Not about how they would feel when…” She flicked a glance to him before returning her gaze to the water. “I didn’t mind it though.”

His hand still thrummed from before. Would it be different if he tried touching her with the other? “I didn’t mind it either,” he said, looking at her, at the way the edge of the water nearly crashed against her shoes.

Would it be weird to ask if they could try that again?

But before he could, a glance at the crystal around her neck reminded him of something just as important. “Oh yeah! Your birthday present! I forgot to give it to you!” He eagerly reached into his pocket, especially as he saw Colette’s eyes light up. “I was working on this all night yesterday so…uh…”

Colette gasped at the mess of metal parts held in his gloved hand. “Oh no, it’s broken.”

“Agh! When did it even… I’m sorry.” His failure at the necklace hit him hard – first not completing it on time and then just shattering it, probably when they were fighting that monster at the Fire Seal...

“Now you’re the one apologizing too much!” she said. She was smiling still, unmindful to her ruined present. “I’m still so happy that you made me something.”

“But you can’t wear it if it’s broken…” Now he needed to find time to fix it. At least he made sure to bring his tools with him, although it would be hard without the crafting table. Maybe he could just use a tree stump or something.

She shook her head. “Well… there’s something you could give me now? As like, an easy present.” There was an expectant look in her eyes, reflecting the moonlight. “Would that be okay?”

Carefully putting away the pieces of the broken necklace back in his pocket, her words tugged at his curiosity. “Hm, well, okay. But I’m still giving you your real present later!” He’d work on it all night again if he had to!

Colette took a step closer to him, making footprints in the sand. Her wings extended from her back, at first a thin line of pink light, before expanding into shapes that cut into the night sky that surrounded her.

It was like back at the seal, once again making him speechless.

“Could you try… doing what you did before?” she asked him softly.

Lloyd didn’t think to question what she meant. If he paused long enough, he might have noticed a pair of eyes from way across camp, most of the party asleep except for a silent man and the animal beside him. Lloyd might have asked Colette more on why, but she rarely asked Lloyd for anything, except to follow along on any plans he had for the day, to pet his dog behind the ears, or to sometimes hold her hand when going over a ridge on the pathway to the temple.

And he had been curious to try it again.

Lloyd reached out with his left hand this time, stroking a wing tip that was further up. The shape of them made it seem sharp, yet it was anything but that. He lingered, and he thought he could feel feathers, or was that just what he assumed it would feel like? Wings were naturally made of feathers, like the angel that had appeared at the seal, speaking to Colette with a tone that he couldn’t help but feel a distaste towards. But Colette’s were different, formed of light and something else. It was more than just softness – it remapped things, all around him, around his nerves that wanted to stay in that sensation.

He saw Colette shiver, clasping both of her hands. But she didn’t move away, her wings staying as still as they could. Lloyd kept tracing the shape of one wing, down its slopes and designs. Sometimes he went through the light, and it cooled his skin the moment he did so.

At some point, he stopped. Motes of light, like stars drenched in pink hues, trailed after his hand, as if he had created a pathway for them through the air.

Colette took a deep breath, then smiled. “Thank you.”

Maybe he should have asked more about it, but he saw nothing but happiness in her face. And, he felt happy, too. At first, he had worried about her wings, how they fluttered as she nearly fainted. But when touching them like that, it didn’t seem as bad anymore.

“Heh, sure,” he said. “Uh, I can always give you this present again later if you wanted.” His other hand also felt it, the vibrations of something new.

Colette’s smile morphed into a grin. “I’d like that.”

* * *

Colette used her wings so much now, bringing them into battle, floating along beside him as soft light enveloped them both. And afterwards, he’d sometimes clasp her shoulder in gratitude, or rush to her side to catch her before she tripped again, tired from the fight.

Maybe it was an excuse, but his hands would usually rush against the edge of her wings, moving through their shape, or just grazing the edge of a wingtip. Colette would turn to him, a small, imperceptible shudder running through them both, and then smile.

At times like those, he wouldn’t do it for too long. With everyone around them, it seemed… maybe a little strange? Like he was sharing a secret with Colette while in front of everyone. His hands would brush against her wings in passing, so that no one could think it as anything more than that.

Yet there were other moments, after that night, that she’d ask another favor from Lloyd.

A walk down the pathway, just a little off from camp, or through the town before sleep would take them. They’d go somewhere private, turn a corner behind a tree, or a house, or a bend in the road. She would hold his hand as they did so, and then her wings would form slowly, so slowly, their brightness increasing with each step.

She’d tighten her grip in his, look up at him, and ask, “Would it be okay?”

And he never really understood why she was so shy with this. It was the same as just holding hands, like she said. Or even giving her a hug. It was just nice to do.

“Heh, sure, you dork,” he’d say, and move his hand across her wings. He had memorized their shape by now, and the once sudden shock of their energy enveloping his hand no longer took him by surprise.

Still, his nerves would shiver, the feeling electric and warm.

Colette would close her eyes, her breathing going a little fast, her grip on his free hand a little tighter. Sometimes her wings fluttered, bringing a wave of sparkles to form in the air, and then slowly fade away.

She’d always smile more brightly afterwards.

This was just a nice thing to do between them, especially on those days when he’d see Colette a little more exhausted than usual, when her ever-present smile would shift slightly. She always smiled, even through the worst of it. He had only ever wanted to help her.

Though it didn’t mean other people had to know about it. Sometimes it was just fun to keep secrets.

* * *

With her voice gone, Colette couldn’t ask him anymore.

Not enough that he had to watch her slowly lose herself, to realize after each seal, after each reveal of her wings, she had given away a part of her that could never be taken back.

Not enough that even after finding out about it, all he could do was hold her tight, knowing that she couldn’t feel a thing.

He had never done enough for her. The necklace remained broken, and his hands always ached to do something.

She still fought with her wings out, still rushed by his side to battle alongside him – but was it because she felt she had no other choice but to do so?

Still reaching out to catch her when he could, he made sure to avoid her wings; the symbol of when everything had started to go wrong. He could only imagine that touching them would only hurt her now.

Colette had noticed.

One night, he had found her in his room at Palmacosta, as they were on their way to Umacy Lake. Most of the others were asleep, even the assassin named Sheena that had joined them. Ever since meeting her, it was soon decided by most people that she was the least threatening of all and had been one of the first to fully conk out for the night.

But Lloyd couldn’t sleep, and Colette only knew sleeplessness. He had been wandering the town in thought before he finally arrived late at night.

“Colette? What’s up?” he asked, only mildly surprised to find her there, seated at the edge of his bed. Sometimes she just appeared like that, waiting for him, wanting to ask a favor, like a story, or any funny thought in his head to make her laugh.

She didn’t answer right away. She couldn’t. Trying to not let the silence become overbearing, he hurried toward her. “Sorry… here.” He held out his hand, trying to put on a smile.

Colette smiled back, carefully taking his gloved hand between both her palms. She gently traced a question, _Where did you go?_

“Ah, nowhere. Just went for a walk and checked on Noishe at the stable. He always gets a little scared around this time of night.” Though not so much lately, the dog lingering near Kratos during their journey. Lloyd was surprised he hadn’t run into the guy at the stables, half-expecting him to be there. At least he didn’t have to worry about his neck getting nearly sliced off this time…

_Noishe must get lonely there._ Colette fiddled more with his palm before continuing. _Maybe one night we can all sleep over there with him?_

“Colette, there’s no room for us there to sleep!” Though Lloyd did consider an alternative. “I think it’d have to only be just a few of us…”

He felt her excitement in her tracing. _You and me?_

“Yeah! Exactly what I was thinking.” There were no beds there at the stable, but the hay they had there was close enough…

Colette was smiling, still grasping his hand, fingertips idly dancing along his palm. Usually at this point, he’d hear her laugh, or even tease him a little. But the most she could do was smile, and even then, he saw the small pain there.

He curled his fingers around hers, feeling her warmth, but knowing she couldn’t feel his own. The silence came back, but he couldn’t find the right words to say. If he went to bed now, she would only stay up, and they still had the tower to get to…

Colette spoke for him, tracing more words again. _Can I ask something strange?_

Lloyd blinked, wondering. “Uh, sure? What is it?”

She hesitated, then traced the shapes again, the words slowly being engraved into his heart at their meaning.

_How come you don’t touch me anymore?_

Lloyd stalled, didn’t understand, didn’t know how to answer.

Colette bit her lip, then traced something else in his palm. _My wings._

“Oh! You meant…” he tried to shake away the idiocy in his head. “Y-your wings, right.” What exactly had he been thinking? “I wasn’t sure if you… like, would want me to anymore.”

Colette looked at him in confusion. The room was a bit dark, night already crawling in from the skies. Her eyes were bright still.

_Why would I not want you to?_

Lloyd couldn’t answer that either.

Colette pulled at his hand slightly, bringing him closer. Her wings formed again within the shadows of the room. The window behind her framed her wings within the night sky. The stars could be seen through the shape of her wings, awash in a sea of pink and violet.

_It feels safe with you._

He hadn’t known.

Lloyd gripped her hand then, knowing she couldn’t feel it, but hoping she’d still get something, anything. The sight of her wings fluttered in his vision.

Why did this seem different now?

Suddenly more nervous than he had been before, Lloyd sat next to her on the bed, clearing his throat. “Could I try something else first, if that’s okay?”

She was already nodding, complete trust in her eyes. With a swallow, Lloyd carefully extricated his hand from hers, but only to pull the gloves off, their red material creaking slightly.

He then reached out to her wings. Again, like dipping his hand in a cool stream, but thrumming pleasantly within his fingers. It felt a little different now – he could feel the silky texture, like feathers and yet not. Like electricity, but still drawing him in and wanting to feel it little more, just a little more, and it was cool, but also warm too, and he didn’t know how to explain that.

He moved his fingers from the tip to down the middle, nearer to the small of her back. Colette had her eyes closed, a soft shudder here and there. She then leaned forward, laying her head on his chest.

Lloyd paused, but only for a moment. He still kept his hand moving across slopes and valleys, tracing their fragmented shapes the way Colette traced words in his palm. “Colette?”

Her hands pressed against the front of his jacket. She looked up at him, wanting to say something, knowing she can’t say anything. But the memory of her words still tingled in his palm. _It feels safe with you._

Lloyd encircled his arm around her back, bringing her close as his hand continued to explore her wings. She couldn’t feel him this way, but the way she shook in his arms, she could feel this though? How his hands stroked her wings? Even when everything had been taken from her, she could still feel this, even if it was from something that had started the loss of her humanity.

His other hand brushed underneath her lower right wing, to where they extended from her back. And though she couldn’t say anything, or make any sound, her quickened breathing and her small shivers told him everything.

“Do you wanna stay like this?” he asked. She nodded again, and he kept her close.

They had hours before morning anyway.

* * *

.

.

.

Ever since the loss of her soul, her wings would forever fan out from her back, like a reminder of something else, something that now made him feel guilty. He remembered Kratos’ eyes reaching across the campfire as they both came back one night, his hand still thrumming and Colette’s face so euphoric. There had been disapproval, and Lloyd had only felt agitated. The feeling was soon indescribable after Kratos’ betrayal, wings that mimicked the nature of Colette’s, that helped take her away and leave her as nothing but a shell.

If he touched her wings now, her standing so still, her eyes the shade of a fiery sunset, would it do anything at all this time?

Or maybe he was being selfish.

Each time he had done it, he told himself it was for her. Because she asked him. Because she wanted him to.

And as she stood near him, underneath the sky of another world, the tip of her wing would brush against his shoulder. Maybe a hidden spark, but Colette stayed still as stone.

Lloyd kept his hands at his side. He wanted her to feel him too, more than anything.

* * *

When she finally came back, eyes full of life, her smile brighter than her hair, Lloyd had to ask again.

“You still have them out.”

It was past midnight, on the road towards Sybak. She had been seated away from the group tonight, and only Lloyd went towards her, as if they were still within the familiarity of Sylvarant, on a journey to help save the world. But the trees here looked the same, the grass, the flowers, if maybe a bit more of them because of this flourishing world. Even the sky echoed something similar through its different constellations.

So it felt natural to walk to her, to have her turn to him with an expecting smile, her necklace now hanging from her neck. Her wings were extended, pink starlight that drifted out motes of light with the gentle breeze.

“Maybe I’m just used to it,” she said to him, and it was so relieving to hear her voice. Lloyd would never take that voice, or the soft grip of her hand in his for granted ever again. “That’s a little strange, isn’t it?”

He held her hand tighter still, standing as close as he could, her wings brushing just against his neck. “I don’t think it is… I’m just glad you’re back.”

Her fingers tightened around his own. She could feel him, and that was the greatest relief.

“I can still ask favors of you, Lloyd? If not tonight, but…” Colette hesitated, but he gave her the biggest grin, one that that was bursting forth from his chest.

“You can ask anything of me.”

Her wings still made an imprint against this world’s dark sky.

* * *

.

.

.

Flying isn’t really so difficult, surprisingly, but Lloyd’s attention was focused on other things entirely to notice.

Desperate as he eyed the seed that was floating away, he wished for _everything_ to get him there, to make it stop, to not let this one opportunity be wasted. Finding himself moving through the sky didn’t strike him as strange in the moment, it was just something he wanted, something he had to do. He hadn’t noticed his wings and the way they stretched, taking the expanse of the sky as it slipped from blue to violet, to finally a curved vastness of stars that always pulled at his chest before sleeping.

With the seed before him, its light so bright and its mana so great it could be physically felt through his blood, Lloyd rushed farther – and then something made him shudder.

Genis had explained the feeling of mana once. Humans could barely feel it, they didn’t have the nature for it. _But it’s more valuable to life than water_, he had said, and the one thing that linked everything together, starting from the core of one’s heart to stretch out and finally physically take in one’s own hands. Lloyd thought that was what he felt, but it rushed down the length of his back, like an embrace from behind, except-

“C… Colette?”

She was next to him, her own wings fluttering behind her, as fast as his heartbeat. Pink fragments against the stars, and only then did he notice his own, arced around her slightly, seeing more detailed feathers that refracted blue and white.

Colette pulled back her hand, guilt filling her face. “Ah, sorry! I came by to help and…they just looked so pretty.”

Lloyd’s body felt like it was still vibrating from the touch. For she had touched his wings, the same way he had done with hers. He reached for her hand, grasping it tight. For one moment – maybe vital, maybe dangerous – the seed was forgotten. But Colette had always been the only one who mattered.

She gripped his hand back, a note in her voice. “Lloyd…”

He blinked. “Right.” He smiled, beating his wings, while the pounding in his blood continued to rush in an ache that he could hardly compare to anything else. “Let’s go.”

There were some priorities, but discoveries are always there for later.

* * *

The memory of the Great Kharlan Tree still replayed in his head, and with the mana rushing out from the ground, dripping from the lush leaves like morning dew, he wondered if this is what everyone would feel once it was fully grown. Brimming with excitement, connection, and the warmth that floated him into contentment.

There was only a sapling now, and a spirit that tended it with care. As she spoke of love and adoration, he felt Colette brush near his arm, looking up at him with the sureness she has always shown, unabashed.

They left the valley where the tree was hidden, on wings boosted by the light that was already fading as night arrived. They had to go back to everyone, except…

He gripped her hand again. “Can we… talk for a sec?”

The way he asked her reminded him of another night with dread clutching at his ribs. But it was so much different now. Holding her hand sent electricity that pulsed with every downbeat of his wings, of hers.

Colette nodded, already letting herself drift downward with him toward a glade. There were fireflies hovering near some bushes. Their soft lights faded in and out with the growing shadows. When they were younger, he’d try to catch them in his hands and show to Colette, painting his palms a verdant green.

“Does it feel weird having wings now?” Colette asked him. She had kept her wings out. They both did. In this part of Sylvarant, Tethe’alla, this new world altogether, no other towns or villages were nearby.

“I’m not sure,” he answered, although he felt that his wings were too bright. Not the soft, midnight glow that Colette’s wings could be, deepening to purple within the night. “But I wanted to ask you something.”

He saw the guilt in her eyes, but he kept their hands clasped. “Did you feel it too?”

Something about everything hinged on her answer, and he already knew it as she gazed up at him, a familiar shudder, a familiar curiosity. “Yeah,” she finally breathed.

Lloyd paused on the verge of something new, then barreled through it like he had done with most things. So far, it hadn’t steered him wrong before. “Would it… be okay to ask a favor from you this time?”

There was the small fear, infinitesimal almost, that she wouldn’t understand. But he felt her entwine their fingers, then reach out towards his right, the one closest to her, the tip of a feather nearly brushing the top of her head.

When he had touched hers, it was like wading into a stream, the shock sudden but soon fading away into something pleasant. This was similar, but not. It was feeling everything that pulled at his core, but never in any painful way. The way she stroked along the edge of his wings sent a small shudder through his chest. Warm and bursting and aching, and he almost couldn’t believe that this was what Colette had felt all the time, and why she had never told. Maybe she hadn’t known how. He could barely understand it.

But it made Lloyd sigh, made him look at her and then pull her closer. Colette was already pushing herself up on her toes to reach him. Kissing her gave him the same electric sensation, the same pull in his chest whenever he touched her wings, and when she had touched his. The thought came, and as his hand brushed through her hair, he slid it around her shoulder, fingers edging the base of her neck, down towards where her wings first extended.

A shiver and she kissed him harder. He only pulled back to breathe against her mouth, and suddenly he understood completely of what Martel had meant.

“Can we try… another thing?” she asked, laying against his chest. She still caressed something so precious. Mana shouldn’t be so physical like this, but maybe they could be the exception.

“Yeah,” he said, bringing his wings close to hers, surrounding them both, already knowing.

In a sea of blue against the stars, he saw where their wing tips brushed against the other. The sensation pulled at his spine, slow and thick as syrup, and as sweet as it too. He pressed his forehead to hers, already losing his breath.

Both her hands, now free, slid up his chest. “Lloyd…”

“We can stay like this,” he told her. Arms wrapped themselves around her, wings rushing over her own. Sparks again, warmth spreading across his limbs. “As long as you want.”

The resulting kiss was deep, and he never wanted to imagine a time without her close and sharing everything like this. And there was another thing he felt from her, through the way her hands touched him, the way she kissed him with so little worry now, because she was here and alive and he would keep here there no matter what it cost him.

There would be a moment he would say he loved her, once she let go of his mouth, once their wings dissolved into mist. But Martel had asked for love and adoration, and his love for Colette and his admiration for her strength seeped through each cadence of his breath. There was more to give to her before he would ever want to stop. 


End file.
